enneagram nine: have ‘do not disturb’ time

Source: Take Care of Your Type

Whether they are extroverted or introverted, Peacemakers highly value their alone time. They love spending time in a relaxing environment, uninterrupted by the pressures of life and relationships. The issue is, although having this time for themselves is what they ultimately crave, they don’t know how to ask others to give it to them. In a way, Peacemakers can feel like their time, thoughts, and feelings are not their own. Rather, they belong to the people they love the most. When in an unhealthy state, they have a tendency to allow others to determine their feelings, thoughts, and use of their time, and they become disconnected from what they truly want in life. When they begin to believe that they do not “own” themselves in a sense, this can cause Peacemakers to become distant in relationships, even if they’re seemingly present in them. Type 9s are often scared to admit to others when they need their space, because they don’t want people to be offended by their request. In a way, Peacemakers also struggle with the fear of missing out, but they’re really more fixated on the fear of being disconnected from the people they love. Finding the time to take care of their well-being means they risk disappointing someone, which would make a Peacemaker feel horrible. Peacemakers, you need to understand that your loved ones and true friends will value your alone time as much as you do, because they know it’s good for you. While practicing this advice may be risking some current connections in your life, it will help you purge the relationships that are harmful to your well-being. I want to challenge all Peacemakers to find one night per week and dedicate it to self-care—whether self-care for you involves playing an instrument, taking a bubble bath, cleaning up your room, praying, or something entirely different. Call that block of time your “do not disturb” time, and don’t let any external pressures prevent you from taking it. Trust me: you will be more present and feel more alive when you do so.