Source: Forty Days on Being a Nine

MOTIVATION
Peace, inner stability; to maintain or create a​ ​conflict-free environment Nines are truly motivated by peace and harmony as they seek to maintain a conflict-free environment. Unfortunately, Nines fear that they are secondary and don’t matter as much as other people. This drives them to avoid conflict that could result in someone saying harsh things or being mad enough to leave, con firming the Nines’ suspicions of inferiority. They often keep the peace by “merging” with others’ thoughts and feelings. It can take space for them to figure out what they actually feel about any given situation.

BIGGEST FEAR
Separation or loss
Nines fear separation or loss-especially separation they may have inadvertently caused, and the conflict surrounding this situation may never have closure. This is their biggest fear because it’s in direct opposition to their core motivation-inner peace. How can you have inner peace when there is an unresolved conflict hanging over your head?

CHILDHOOD WOUND
The wounding message Nines heard (or think they heard) as children was, “It is not okay to assert yourself” or “Your wants/ needs don’t matter as much as everyone else’s.”

This made asserting their own feelings or wants seem ish and wrong, so Nines learned to step back and view others as more important than themselves. This may feel a lot like a Two’s wound of “don’t be a burden,” and you’d be right. However, instead of turning this message into actively serving, Nines started on a more passive road of accommodating and merging.

A Nine might have heard this message if their parent or authority figure had a very strong personality that overshadowed the Nine, or if they otherwise said, “No, you need to let them go first.” “Stop whining.” “Stop talking.” “Can’t you tell I’m busy?” “Your need just isn’t important right now.” “You need to be good.”

THE LOST CHILDHOOD MESSAGE NINES LONG TO HEAR
“Your presence matters”