Source: The Enneagram of Parenting

Getting Along with Others
Romantic-style children tend to have strong likes and dislikes with regard to other people. They long to have a special soul mate with whom to share their inner world. While they can be very warm and giving to close friends, their envy can get the better of them and they may become hostile. For example, David was always sure that his friends’ vacations were far better than his own.

If your Four-ish kid is withdrawn, don’t plunge him or her abruptly into new social situations. Suzie hated going to visit people she wasn’t familiar with and would stay in her parents’ car to avoid facing them. John, though, was okay as long as his parents stayed with him while he overcame his initial fear. Remember, introverted children need to limit the amount of time they spend with others, and they need your understanding in this. Don’t expect them to be able to spend a day at school, then go to a scout meeting, and then go home with a friend.

Danny hates rough play, but he loves romantic stories about heroes. He and his active cousin, Ethan, used to have trouble finding a way to play together. One day Ethan began acting out Danny’s tales of knights by galloping around, sword-fighting, and slaying dragons. Now they’re never at a loss for what to do.

Sleeping and Eating Habits
Emotional reactions can interfere with Four-ish (and all children’s) sleep and eating.

See if you can talk things out with them. When they’re young, though, they sometimes don’t know what they feel. Chat with them about events of the day, and mention some of your own feelings that might touch upon theirs. Rituals such as bedtime stories can mean a lot to them.

It’s imporant for these children to feel calm and secure concerning sleeping and eating. Swallowing becomes difficult if family tension is served along with the food. Explain family situations in such a way that children realize the problems are not their fault. Find out from observing them how much structure they’re comfortable with.

Standing Up for Himself or Herself
Romantic-style children have high principles and often want to save the world. The more outgoing of them engage in competition and like to argue their deeply held convictions. Some are shy, however, and cave in, shut down, or sidle away to a private place. Help strengthen their confidence and self-esteem. Stand up for them if they can’t do it themselves, decreasing your protection over time.

Decision Making
Romantic-style children usually have strong values and know what they like. When they forget themselves, however, it may be because they’re trying to please someone else. For the most part, they value and can rely on what their feelings or gut reactions tell them.

Get-Up-and-Go
Though Four-ish children can be languid or brooding, they are usually able to muster up energy when a principle is at stake, when a close friend needs them, or when they have an idea for an exciting creative project. Some will put themselves in a scary situation just to stimulate their adrenaline and feel more alive, though many are too fearful to do this.